


The 5 Times Kurt and Blaine Got Hit on and the 1 Time They Hit on Each Other

by InsightfulInsomniac



Series: dads!Klaine (aka the Adventures of the Anderson-Hummels and Co.) [26]
Category: Glee
Genre: 5+1 Things, Drunk!Kurt, Fluff, Humor, M/M, a lot of people hitting on them, dads!Klaine, drunk!rachel, husbands!klaine, seriously that’s the fic
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-05-09
Updated: 2020-05-09
Packaged: 2021-03-03 02:41:17
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 5,329
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24087526
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/InsightfulInsomniac/pseuds/InsightfulInsomniac
Summary: Kurt and Blaine are attractive, charismatic people — therefore, they’re no strangers to getting hit on, even when they’re together. When they’re together, they’re also not afraid to say that sometimes their possessive sides jump out just a little.However, the one fateful time they try to hit on each other through a bit of roleplay at their favorite bar, things definitely don’t go to plan.Fluff, humor, and a bit of dads!klaine at the end. A 5+1 with the +1 inspired by my readers!
Relationships: Blaine Anderson/Kurt Hummel, Dalton Anderson-Hummel/Sawyer Montrose
Series: dads!Klaine (aka the Adventures of the Anderson-Hummels and Co.) [26]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1364230
Comments: 28
Kudos: 138





	The 5 Times Kurt and Blaine Got Hit on and the 1 Time They Hit on Each Other

**Author's Note:**

> Thank you thank you thank you to PaellaIsComplicated, Rar123a, and SK! You all inspired and encouraged me to write this fic by coming up with the prompt for the +1 part, which made the rest of the fic fall into place! Enjoy!

**1\. Blaine in an NYU Performance**

Kurt claps along with the audience as the curtains close, the lights coming up for intermission. He’s on his own at the theater tonight, even though Blaine insisted that he did not need to come to every performance of his. Kurt wholeheartedly disagreed, citing the fact that it’s definitely not a chore for him to watch his talented husband perform. Besides, it’s Blaine’s first show at NYU and the first performance he’s in since they’ve been married, and Kurt wants to support him as much as he can.

Tonight’s the fifth show he’s seen, and he’s still just as impressed and proud of Blaine as he was on opening night, when he was accompanied by his parents, Rachel, Elliott, Artie, Blaine’s mom, and even Sam and Tina, who both came to New York to see him in _Little Shop of Horrors._

But now that everyone’s long since gone back to their normal schedules and returned home or to school, it’s just Kurt, which he doesn’t mind. He takes out his phone to entertain himself before act two starts when the group of girls next to him, who appear to be around the same age as Kurt and Blaine, begin chatting loudly.

“Oh my god, the show is so good!” One girl squeals, and the others agree. “The guy who plays Seymour is incredible.”

Kurt smiles to himself, sending a quick text to Rachel to tell her that yes, tonight’s show has been just as good as the rest, thank you for asking.

“His voice is angelic,” another girls comments. “I could listen to it forever.”

Kurt can’t help but grin. He’s lucky enough to get to listen to that voice forever.

“He is so attractive,” another girl sighs. “He’s like the perfect man — talented and beautiful.”

Fighting back a laugh, Kurt informs Rachel of this new development around him.

 **Kurt** : the girls next to me are drooling over Blaine and it’s actually hilarious

 **Rachel** : OMG, they’re trying to steal your man!

 **Kurt** : haha they definitely want to, but for many reasons, they’re extremely misguided

 **Rachel** : lol please keep me posted on them. That’s my entertainment for the night

 **Kurt** : will do

“You know, I think I might have had a gen ed with him once,” one of them comments. “It was a big class though, so I’m not completely sure. I just remember this really cute guy that I think was him.”

“You should shoot your shot,” another girl remarks, nudging the girl who had initially announced Blaine’s attractiveness. “You’re hot, he’s hot, why not?”

She laughs. “You really think so? I don’t even know him.”

“That’s the point. It’s a big campus; if he rejects you, you probably won’t have to see him again,” the girl reasons. “It’s worth a chance.”

“Okay,” the girl grins. “I’ll regret it if I don’t; he’s too cute to pass up.”

The girls giggle together, planning out how their friend is going to approach Blaine after the show, and Kurt can’t help but devise a plan of his own.

******

As soon as the cast exits the stage after yet another standing ovation, Kurt’s out of his seat and weaving through people to get to where Blaine will be coming out in a few minutes. He watches as the girls cluster together near where he’s standing, blissfully unaware.

Kurt doesn’t mean to make them upset or to be rude, not in the slightest. But he’s also not afraid to take pride in the fact that his husband is, as they so eloquently stated, talented and beautiful.

Blaine finally appears a few minutes later, face lighting up as soon as he sees Kurt. He looks tired but excited in that post-show adrenaline way that Kurt knows the feeling of all too well.

“Hey honey,” Kurt greets. “You were amazing!”

“Thanks,” Blaine beams, running a hand through his already re-curling hair. “It was a good show tonight, I think.”

“Um, hi,” the girl from earlier begins, her group of friends standing slightly behind her, grinning. “You were so good, and I just felt like I needed to introduce myself. I’m Bree.”

Blaine smiles, shaking he hand she’s extended him. “Thanks, Bree. I’m Blaine. Are you also a student here? I just transferred in this year, so I’m trying to get to know more people.”

Kurt bites back a laugh at where he knows this is going in the girl’s mind. Blaine is so genuinely friendly that she thinks he’s interested in creating a connection beyond friendship — and Blaine is so oblivious that he doesn’t realize that she’s hitting on him.

She nods. “Yeah, I am! I’m an engineering major, so I’m not around this side of campus much. We should get coffee sometime to get to know each other.”

Kurt raises an eyebrow in her direction, then glances to Blaine, who is still so innocently unaware. Casually, he slips his hand into Blaine’s, who merely turns his bright smile on him.

“Oh, Bree, I should introduce my husband, Kurt,” Blaine adds, and Kurt outstretches his hand. 

“Hi, Bree.”

Kurt watches amusedly as she is very quickly brought up to speed, her friends sighing defeatedly in the background.

“Nice to meet you, Kurt,” she replies, not unkindly. 

“So, Bree, if you’re ever around this side of campus, please find me for a coffee break,” Blaine remarks. “I’d love to get together sometime.”

She smiles, nodding. “That sounds great, Blaine. I’ll hold you to it. Congrats on the show again, you were amazing!”

“Thanks for coming!” He replies, and Bree rejoins her friends as they walk away, laughing.

“She was sweet,” Blaine quips, and Kurt snorts.

“She was. But she was also trying to ask you out,” he explains, and Blaine’s jaw drops.

“No. No she wasn’t!”

Kurt laughs. “Sweetheart, I sat right next to them all night. They were gushing about you during intermission — I mean, rightfully so, but they encouraged Bree to take a chance and go for it.”

Blaine shakes his head incredulously. “I can’t believe I didn’t catch onto that.”

“Well, she did still seem nice once she realized,” Kurt amends. “I wouldn’t disregard a friendship with her if you still wanted to meet her for coffee.”

Blaine laughs. “It wouldn’t be the first time a friendship was formed even though the girl liked me.”

Kurt rolls his eyes amusedly. “God, don’t remind me. Rachel and Tina were both hags.”

Blaine leans up and presses a kiss to his cheek. “Mercedes was in love with you for a bit. And you dated Britt. We’ve both got these stories, babe.”

“Again, don’t remind me.”

**2\. Kurt at NY Fashion Week**

“Well? How do I look?”

Blaine’s jaw drops to the floor as Kurt steps into their living room, doing a little twirl to show off his outfit. He takes in the patterned, asymmetrical suit that clings to his husband in all the right places, dragging his eyes up from his shiny shoes to the classic-Kurt short, silky scarf tied around his neck.

“Wow,” he manages. “If I wasn’t so afraid of making you late, I don’t think we’d be leaving the house for awhile.”

Kurt cocks an eyebrow, smirking. “I’ll still be wearing it when I get home. Are you ready to go? I have to meet Isabelle in an hour.”

“Yep, I’ve got everything I need,” Blaine nods, hopping up from the couch and crossing to his husband, unable to resist pulling him in for a deep kiss.

“You really like the outfit that much?” Kurt asks somewhat smugly, a little breathless.

“Yeah,” Blaine grins. “I’m also just really proud of you. Seeing you be successful is sexy.”

“Oh,” Kurt’s rendered slightly speechless for a moment, and Blaine takes that time to peck his lips again quickly.

“Now, let’s go take the classiest New York Fashion Week thirst trap Instagram has ever seen.”

“Only trying to trap you, babe,” Kurt replies.

“You got me years ago,” Blaine retorts, beaming over his shoulder. “But you deserve to show off this outfit.”

******

There’s a certain level of confidence that comes with wearing an outfit you know you look good in. Kurt thinks that’s partially why he’s always been drawn to elaborate ensembles — even when you’re feeling at your lowest internally, clothes can be a façade of strength.

But right now, posing on the streets of New York City as his husband crouches to get just the right angle, he feels wholly confident, inside and out. He knows he looks good (Blaine’s expressed that sentiment more than a few times), and he feels good. Not to mention the sheer fact that Isabelle invited him to join her at New York Fashion week, even having him write a column on the ten best runway shows this year. She wasn’t kidding when she promised a more intensive internship the second time around.

“Ooh, that looks so good, just like that,” Blaine compliments as Kurt shifts his weight slightly, relaxing into the pose. “These pictures are so good; you’re doing great!”

Suddenly, the two of them hear a whistle from their left. “Lookin’ good!”

A young man strolling by takes a quick detour to approach them, and Kurt and Blaine share a look of amused disdain.

“Fashion week, huh? You’re definitely pretty enough for it,” he smirks, obviously eyeing Kurt in a way that makes Blaine’s skin crawl.

“I didn’t ask for your opinion,” Kurt replies shortly, turning his attention back to Blaine. “Did you get what we need, babe?”

“I think so,” Blaine answers, and Kurt grabs his hand not-so-subtly.

“You could’ve just said you had a boyfriend,” the man snarks, and Kurt rolls his eyes exasperatedly.

“Husband,” he corrects sharply. “Why are you still here?”

The man scoffs and finally continues on his way. 

“People are pathetic,” Kurt remarks, squeezing Blaine’s hand. “You okay? You’re really quiet, all things considered.”

Blaine laughs softly. “I’m fine. Honestly, just thinking about how hot you were when you handled that.”

“Save it for later,” Kurt teases. “I’ll need to get out of these clothes somehow.”

**3\. Blaine Giving a College Tour**

“And here we are, back at the Quad. That concludes our tour, but I can answer any questions you may have!”

Blaine beams out at the group of prospective students and parents. In his free time (which is not a lot, mind you), he’s picked up giving a few tours here and there at NYU. It’s fun getting to see all of the bright-eyed high schoolers get a look at their potential futures, and it’s also a great way to flex his public speaking muscle.

“You said you’re a double major in musical theater and education. Is it difficult to do a double major in the theater program?” One parent asks, nudging their son. “He’s interested in going the musical theater route.”

Blaine nods. “It is challenging, but not unmanageable. Your advisors will work with you to create a schedule that gets you to graduation — I’ve had a great experience, and I transferred in the second semester of my sophomore year. They’ll meet you where you’re at if you show dedication.”

“Is campus safe?” A mother questions, raising her hand.

“Especially because we’re in a major city, campus safety does a really great job keeping campus very safe, yes,” Blaine explains. “And there are emergency call boxes stationed all around campus in case of an emergency.”

“May I ask how old you are?” Another woman inquires, and Blaine pauses for a moment, caught slightly off-guard.

“I’m twenty-one,” he replies, and before he can say anything else, the woman continues talking.

“Well, my daughter here is eighteen, and she’s single,” the poor girl groans, embarrassed, burying her face in her hands as her mother barrels on. “And she’s committed to NYU. I think you two could be quite the match — you seem like a very nice boy.”

“Mom,” her daughter whimpers, lifting her head. “I am so sorry —“

“No, no, it’s okay,” Blaine laughs, giving her his most reassuring smile. “I’m flattered, but I’m gay and married, so it’s not exactly possible.”

The mother frowns disappointedly, and her daughter just sighs in obvious relief.

“Married? Are there a lot of married students at NYU?” A dad asks, and Blaine’s been doing this enough that he knows the parents are always the ones asking questions at the end of a tour.

“There’s a small population, but we do live off-campus,” he answers. “It’s a big enough school that there are some, but it’s rare.”

“Did you meet your husband here?” Another mother chimes in. “My daughter is also looking for a boyfriend!”

“Mom, no —“

Blaine always feels bad for the kids who come with parents who are interested in over-sharing to strangers, so he sends the embarrassed girl a sympathetic smile. “No, we’re high school sweethearts. But I promise, relationships aren’t the most important part of college. NYU has so many opportunities to grow as an individual, so don’t worry if you don’t find someone right away!”

With that, he decides that it’s about time to end the tour, filing this one away as one of his more... interesting tour experiences. Despite his rollercoaster of a college journey, he’s forever glad that the only college tours he’s been on were with Sam.

“Thank you all for coming out today, and if you need directions to the dining hall for your free lunch, please let me know!”

The mother who offered up her daughter to be his girlfriend approaches him jokingly before leaving. “Are you sure? My daughter’s a lovely girl.”

“I’m sure,” Blaine replies, somewhat uncomfortably. “I’m very, very sure. So sorry.”

“Worth a shot,” she shrugs.

Blaine shakes his head. He needs to text Elliott to see if he’s around campus still — the only thing you can do when you have a weird day is share it with someone else as soon as possible.

**4\. Kurt and Rachel at a Bar**

Let it be known, Kurt Hummel does not drink to get wasted. In fact, he rarely drinks at all, and if he’s in a bar or a club, it’s on a planned occasion and he knows his limits.

Except when Rachel Berry is involved.

They had made plans to go out on a whim the night prior, realizing that neither had been on the nightlife scene for quite a while, with work, school, and busy lives taking over their schedules. Besides, Kurt much prefers a night in with his husband to a wild night out, and Rachel’s now dating Jesse again, so most of her nights out are dates with him.

Thus, Rachel and Kurt decide to head to a bar they used to frequent — a gay bar, because Rachel insists they’re more fun — and they, of course, invite Blaine along as well.

He has rehearsal for his show at NYU until late, but he agrees to meet them at the bar right after, insisting that he won’t be too tired. That leaves Rachel and Kurt to their own devices for way too long.

Tequila is Kurt’s alcoholic weakness. Sure, he much prefers the taste of wine or a classy cocktail, but there’s just something about it that once he takes one shot, he has to have another. Rachel also knows this particular detail, and does not hesitate to buy a few rounds of shots for them before Kurt can even order anything else.

At this point, he and Rachel are beyond tipsy, leaning against the bar and giggling through conversation with each other about who knows what. Something about Jesse’s new idea for a show.

“And he — oh god, he wants —“ Rachel hiccups loudly, sending them both into another fit of laughter. “He wants me to star in it, obviously, but like, I feel like — I — I should audition like all the other girls...”

Suddenly, the bartender’s leaning across the counter and sliding Kurt a drink. “From the man a few seats down in the red shirt.”

“Oh my god,” Rachel giggles. “He’s trying to... to seduce you!”

Kurt rolls his eyes, but takes a sip of the drink anyway. “He can’t seduce me, I’m married.”

“You’re drinking the drink!” Rachel exclaims, gasping. “He’s gonna think you want him!”

“Oh shit,” Kurt’s eyes widen, and he stares at the glass in his hand. “I can’t make him think that!”

“I’ll drink it!” Rachel volunteers enthusiastically, grabbing the cocktail from his hands and chugging it way too quickly.

“I don’t think you were supposed to do that,” Kurt grins, and Rachel shakes her head as she clears her throat.

“Nope, nope, don’t do that... but hey, that’s really good! It’s so sweet,” she remarks. 

The bartender leans across the counter again, this time handing Kurt a note. “From the same guy who bought you the drink.”

“Thank you, ma’am!” He says loudly. “Can you, um, can you tell him that I am very taken? Like, married taken? And my husband is very beautiful and wayyyy stronger than he looks, so he could, like, take him on if he doesn’t get the message.”

The bartender chuckles. “Will do, honey.”

“What does the note say?” Rachel asks excitedly, peering over his shoulder to read.

Kurt scoffs, crumbling the note as soon as he reads it, tossing it somewhere unknown. “He thinks my ass is tight. And he gave me his number. Such poetry.”

Rachel wrinkles her nose. “Why are men so gross?”

Kurt shrugs. “I don’t know, and I am one.”

“Yeah, but you don’t hit on random guys at the bars,” Rachel reasons. “You — you’re — you’re a classy bitch. Like me.”

“Hm,” Kurt hums, nodding. “Classy bitches. That’s us!”

“And we’re both in relationships,” Rachel points out. “Which is why we don’t hit on random people.”

“Unless they look like _that_ ,” Kurt’s jaw drops as he stares at the door of the bar, having just opened as a man walks in. “He’s so sexy, oh my god.”

“That’s your husband,” Rachel deadpans, and Kurt nods. 

“I know, _holy fuck,_ I’m lucky!”

“Hi babe,” Blaine greets, bemused. Kurt immediately grabs him and pulls him close. “Having fun?”

“Oh, Blaine, I was getting hit on by this guy,” Kurt sighs dramatically. “Thank you for saving me because I’m so married and I just love you so much and he just doesn’t know so he sent me a drink and Rachel drank it because I’m married and —“

“Woah, honey, slow down,” Blaine chuckles, steadying Kurt with a arm around his waist. “Breathe, it’s okay. I love you too.”

“I took care of your husband,” Rachel pats Blaine’s arm a little too hard. “I was ready to march over and tell that guy to... to back off! We’re classy bitches!”

Blaine raises his eyebrows, glancing between the two of them. “That you are. How about we head home, Kurt? We can cuddle and call it a night.”

Kurt nods emphatically. “I like that idea.”

“And Rachel, you can join us if you’d like,” Blaine offers. “I think maybe you should.”

“I’ll come home with you and call Jesse,” she decides, pointing wildly. “That’s a good idea, yeah. He can come get me!”

“Or you can stay at our place,” Blaine suggests, but Rachel’s already leaning into his other side, rambling on about her boyfriend.

“He’ll be so happy to hear my voice, like he loves to listen to me talk, and I haven’t talked to him since we got here —“

Kurt leans in and presses a sloppy kiss to his cheek before pulling back to whisper loudly in his ear. “Sometimes I’m not happy to hear her voice after awhile.”

Blaine bites back a laugh and focuses on getting the two of them home safely, just listening to the two best friends begin an argument about who’s significant other has better hair.

It’s nights like these that make him realize how much he really loves them both.

  
**5\. Kurt and Blaine at a Coffee Shop**

“What can I get for you?”

“A medium drip and a grande nonfat mocha, please,” Blaine recites, handing over his card.

“Can I have a name?”

“Blaine on the drip, Kurt on the mocha.”

“They’ll be out at the counter in a few minutes,” the cashier smiles, and Blaine thanks her as the couple moves to stand at the end of the bar.

“After all these years, you still want to buy my coffee,” Kurt teases, and Blaine smiles softly.

“Of course I do. It’s the little things,” he replies. “Besides, it’s the least I can do for someone who’s literally made me breakfast to-go this entire week.”

“It’s finals week for you, and I’m not in school anymore, so I have time,” Kurt explains. “Only one more semester to go; how does it feel?”

Blaine sighs. “I’m excited. I mean, I’m nervous to be done, but I’m ready. You know? I’ll miss it, but I’m ready to move on.”

Kurt nods. “That’s exactly how I felt last year. But I will say, it’s definitely freeing to not have to worry about writing essays anymore.”

“Oh, god, don’t remind me, I just started break,” Blaine laughs, groaning. “This is my celebratory post-semester coffee.”

“Then I should have treated you,” Kurt retorts, and Blaine shakes his head.

“No, nope, treating you is a treat for me.”

Kurt raises an eyebrow. “Is it now?”

Blaine rolls his eyes, grinning. “Come on, babe, it’s not like we’re not aware of this.”

“Blaine! Kurt!” The barista calls their names as she slides the coffee across the counter, and as soon as they pick up their cups, they both notice more than just their names scrawled on them in permanent marker.

“Oh my god,” Kurt remarks softly, and the couple can’t help but look back at the two baristas manning the counter.

The two girls share a look, and the one who served them finally approaches them. “Um, we figured we’d ask. Those are our numbers, so like, if you’re interested in either of us...”

Blaine smiles sympathetically. “That’s very sweet, and I’m sure you’re both lovely, but we’re married.”

“To each other,” Kurt clarifies, and the barista flushes bright red.

“Oh! Oh my god, I’m so sorry,” she stammers, and the pair laughs gently.

“It’s okay, believe me, it’s not the first time,” Blaine reassures. “Don’t worry!”

“Thanks for the coffee,” Kurt adds. “Have a good day!”

“Yeah, you too,” she replies quickly, and Kurt and Blaine barely manage to make it out of the coffee shop before bursting into much louder laughter.

“Oh, the poor thing,” Kurt sighs. “I’m surprised they didn’t realize when we’re together.”

“Guess we didn’t turn up the coffee shop PDA enough,” Blaine jokes. “Maybe next time we can make out against the pickup counter to avoid confusion.”

Kurt grins. “That’s a great plan.”

  
**+1: Audrey, Dalton, and Sawyer and the Most Unfortunate Encounter**

“Sawyer, I am so honored that you trust me with your inaugural gay bar experience,” Audrey grins, flashing her ID to the bouncer. 

“I trust Dalton,” he corrects, teasing, and she rolls her eyes. “And he trusts you for some reason.”

“Hey, I love all of my siblings, but Audrey is the first one I’d ask for club recommendations,” Dalton retorts, and his sister pats his arm in thanks.

“Again, I’m honored. Do you guys want drinks? I can go get us some,” she offers. “First round’s on me; a late birthday treat for Sawyer!”

Sawyer nudges his boyfriend. “What should I get? You’ve been twenty-one for a month longer than I have.”

Dalton snorts. “You’ve drank before. We’ve drank together! What did you like?”

Sawyer blushes slightly. “But that was all like cheap wine and smuggled booze. I don’t know what sophisticated drinks to order!”

“Honey, sophisticated isn’t necessarily what you’re looking for when you’re trying to get wasted,” Audrey remarks. “I’ll get us some shots.”

Dalton rubs Sawyer’s back gently, pressing a quick kiss to his cheek. “You’re adorable. I love you.”

Audrey approaches the bar, about to order the first two rounds when she hears a frighteningly familiar voice to her left.

“Could I send a drink to the man at the end of the bar?”

Audrey forces back an audible gasp when her eyes land on none other than her own father. The bartender smiles, and when Kurt gestures down the bar, Audrey gets a glimpse of his left hand.

There’s no wedding band in sight.

“Oh my god,” she murmurs to herself, because what the hell? “Oh my god.”

Completely forgetting about the drinks, she makes a beeline back to her brother and his boyfriend, who had since grabbed a small table and are casually chatting.

“Audrey, are you okay?” Sawyer notices her first as she approaches, obviously concerned. “You look like you’ve seen a ghost.”

“Dad’s here,” she hisses, glancing back to the bar quickly. “He’s at the bar, and he doesn’t have his wedding ring on!”

“What?” Dalton blanches, craning his neck to see, and Audrey discreetly nods in the direction of Kurt. “Oh my god, no way.”

“Do you think...” Sawyer cringes, treading carefully. “You don’t think —“

“No,” Dalton shakes his head firmly. “I have no idea what this all means, but I don’t think Dad’s cheating. He can’t be.”

“He sent a drink to some guy at the bar,” Audrey adds confusedly. “I mean, I don’t live with them anymore, but dads have seemed just as in love as ever, right?”

Dalton nods. “The few times I’ve seen them when I haven’t been at school, nothing’s been wrong.”

“I’m sure there’s a logical explanation for this,” Sawyer says, watching the two Anderson-Hummel siblings closely. “What do we do now?”

“Boys, this just turned into a stakeout,” Audrey declares. “For our parents’ sake.”

“Wait, I see movement!” Dalton interjects, and all three of them immediately turn their attention back to the bar. “He’s going to sit with someone!”

Kurt, who had been casually eyeing the man at the end of the bar for the better part of the night, finally decides to make his move. He grabs his drink and walks the distance to him, grabbing the free stool next to him.

“Hi,” he greets, sending the man a soft smirk. “How’s it going?”

“Hm, just nursing the drink that a very handsome man sent me. Would you happen to know anything about that?”

Kurt raises an eyebrow. “I may. Would you care to dance?”

“He’s dark-haired, but it’s gelled really heavily,” Sawyer, the tallest of the group, relays. “I can’t see his face, though. Kurt’s blocking it. Not much to go on.”

“That could be anyone,” Dalton groans. “At least we know Dad has a type.”

Audrey laughs in spite of herself. “Yeah, think he’s trying to relive some of his glory days and pick up a guy that looks like Pops when they first met?”

The man grins, swallowing the last sip of his drink. “I will once you tell me your name, baby.”

Kurt chuckles lowly. “My name’s Kurt. And you are?”

“Nice to meet you, Kurt. I’m Blaine.”

“I’m going to get closer to them,” Sawyer, their self-appointed lookout says, getting up from the table. “And Kurt will probably have the least chance of recognizing me anyway.”

Dalton nods. “Good idea, babe. Go for it.”

Sawyer doesn’t even take two steps from the table before Kurt and the mystery man stand up from the bar. He stops in his tracks, watching as Kurt steps just ahead of him, finally revealing his face.

“Oh my god,” he gasps, then laughs. “Oh my god, okay.”

“What? What?” Audrey asks, and it only takes another second for both her and Dalton to see that the man with their Dad is, in fact, their other father.

“Why the hell are they not wearing their rings if they’re here together?” Dalton questions incredulously. “And why does Pops have his hair like that?”

“I’m going to confront them,” Audrey decides, and before either Dalton or Sawyer could stop her, she’s marching determinedly in the direction of her parents.

Sawyer cringes, sighing. “I think I know what’s going on. And I can’t believe Audrey hasn’t figured it out yet.”

“What?” Dalton remarks. “What do you mean?”

Sawyer shakes his head amusedly. “You both can be so oblivious sometimes; it’s hilarious.”

“Um, hi,” Audrey interrupts her parents, stopping them on their way to the dance floor. Both of them jump a mile, gasping, and they each turn an impressive shade of red.

“What are you doing here?” She shrieks. “What is going on?”

“Shouldn’t we be asking you the same thing?” Kurt replies, hands on his hips.

“Excuse me, I am twenty-three and an independent woman, I am allowed to be wherever I want,” she retorts indignantly, sounding scarily like her Aunt Rachel. “What happened to your hair, Pops? And where are your rings?”

Blaine sputters for a moment, glancing between his hand and his husband’s. “Uh, well, we were... trying something new tonight. Like, um, roleplaying.”

It takes all of Audrey’s will not to gag as she catches on. “Were you pretending to pick each other up at the bar?”

Kurt sighs a long-suffering exhale as Blaine nods, somewhat sheepishly. “Hence the lack of rings. They’re just in our pockets.”

“Oh my god, Dalton and I were getting worried,” she shakes her head incredulously, and Kurt’s eyes widen dramatically.

“Dalton’s here too?” He repeats, and Audrey nods.

“And Sawyer. We were taking him out for his first gay bar experience,” she explains. “This has been an experience for sure.”

Blaine groans. “This is the last time we try anything like this.”

Kurt rubs his arm gently as Audrey sighs. “Looks like I’m going to have to find a new bar to frequent.”

“Oh no, honey, don’t let us discourage you —“ Kurt comments, but Audrey just shoots him a look.

“Dad. I cannot go to the bar that my parents roleplay at,” she deadpans. “I love you both so much, but no. I’ll take one for the team.”

“Hey, we felt kind of weird just waiting over there,” Dalton explains, he and Sawyer joining the group. “Hi, dads.”

“Hi, Dalton,” Blaine smiles, a little defeatedly. “I guess you’re looking for an explanation too —“ 

“Oh, nope, Sawyer filled me in,” Dalton interrupts. “He caught on pretty quickly.”

“Sorry we interrupted your night,” Sawyer apologizes. “We were just thrown for a loop.”

Kurt waves them off. “No, no, we’re sorry we got in the way of your belated birthday celebration! I’m so sorry this is how you got to step out into the gay nightlife scene.”

Sawyer grins crookedly. “Hey, it’s no big deal. It’s a story to tell, that’s for sure.”

Blaine laughs. “At our expense. But I guess that’s our birthday gift to you.”

“What a gift,” Audrey rolls her eyes, but not without a smile.

“Hey, they already got me an actual gift on my birthday, which was already more than they needed to do,” Sawyer defends.

“You’re family, Sawyer, of course we needed to,” Kurt insists. “But because you’re family is also why you have to live through this mutual mortification with the rest of us.”

Dalton clears his throat. “I don’t want to be rude, but I think we should probably get going... there are a few other bars on the list for us to visit?”

Audrey nods vehemently, immediately picking up what her brother’s laying down. “Yep, yep, many places to see, things to do. Tonight is for Sawyer’s education.”

Both Audrey and Dalton can see that their parents are not buying their hasty excuse, but they graciously hand them the out anyway. 

“Good night, be safe, and if you need to call us, please do,” Blaine says. “We love you.”

“Love you too,” Dalton waves, ushering his boyfriend out of the bar as Audrey leads the way.

“Horrifying. Absolutely horrifying,” Audrey cries after they’re out of the bar. “We can’t go back there!”

Dalton shakes his head solemnly. “Never.”

**Author's Note:**

> As usual, y’all are amazing! Writing has been an amazing outlet for me during quarantine, and I’m always so happy to hear that you all are enjoying my fics during this time as well!
> 
> Thanks for always reading and commenting! Your support means the world!
> 
> Find me on Instagram: @insightful.insomniac
> 
> Find me on tumblr: @zigxzag-klaine


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